


The Musings Of A Chosen One

by roelliej



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: hogwarts365, Drunkenness, F/F, Humor, Language, M/M, Masturbation, Ratings: R, Sexual Content, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:35:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roelliej/pseuds/roelliej
Summary: Ron woke up with a start — the arousing dream about his boyfriend slowly sucking him off under the table during the traditional Weasley Sunday brunch slowly fading—and looked at the screen of his ringing mobile phone: way past midnight...





	1. Hello From The Other Side

Ron woke up with a start — the arousing dream about his boyfriend slowly sucking him off under the table during the traditional Weasley Sunday brunch slowly fading—and looked at the screen of his ringing mobile phone: way past midnight.

“Who the fuck has the nerve to call at his unholy hour?” Seamus grumbled sleepily. “If it’s Robards, tell him he can lick my... ”

“It’s Harry,” Ron said as he answered the call, putting it on speaker. “Hey, mate.”

_“Iz over. Ron...  ”_

“Harry, I don’t understand. Are you drunk?”

 _“Draco. He...”_ Ron heard his friend mumble something inaudible as he started to sob.

 _They broke up_ , Seamus mouthed, sighing theatrically. Ron put his hand up to silence his boyfriend. “Harry, are you still there?”

_“Draco l-left... He... he didn’t... want me.”_

Ron gazed at Seamus as he mouthed _sex_ , and felt hollow inside. Each time when Harry had a boyfriend _—“This is the one, Ron. My one true love.”—_ and the bed came in sight, Mr Right became yesterday’s teabag. Therefore, Harry was in his early twenties and still a virgin, which troubled him deeply.

 _“N-nobody wants m-me. Going t-to die a spinster...”_ Followed by a loud wail of despair.

“Harry, get a grip, will you?!” Ron said firmly. “Of course there are people who... er... want you.”

“Do _y-you_ want me, R-Ron, Ronniekins?”

“Excuse me?”

_“T-talk t-to me, Ron. W-what are y-you wearing?”_

Ron quickly put the phone off speaker, blushing heavily as Seamus started to roar with laughter. “Merlin’s balls. Is he actually drunk-dialling you?”

“Shut up,”  Ron said as he put the phone to his ear. “Harry, you’ll come over for dinner tomorrow, you hear me? _You’re doing what? Stop jerking off this instant!_ Seamus will make his speciality. _No, I’m not touching Seamus right now! Put your cock back into your boxers!_ ” His boyfriend nearly fell of the bed. “Take a Sleeping Potion and sober up, for fuck’s sake!”

“This has to stop,” Ron sighed after ending the conversation. “Right fucking now.”

“I think I have an idea, sweetheart,” Seamus said, nuzzling Ron’s neck.

“Will I like that idea?” Ron said suspiciously.

“ _I_ would,” Seamus said with an air of mystery.


	2. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's been drinking away his pain in solitude. The last thing he needs, is the interference of his best friend...

“You look familiar. Didn’t we take classes together?”

Draco woke up from his drunken stupor and glared at two young men standing in front of his table. “Highly unlikely.”

“I could’ve sworn we had chemistry together.”

“Jesus,” Draco groaned grimly, his head pounding like there was a madman banging on seven bells inside. “I’m not interested. Find yourself another plaything to fill! Fuck off!”

“You said he was an easy catch.”

“He’s known as the town’s biggest slut.”

“I’m drunk, not deaf!” Draco growled sleepily, sipping from his lukewarm pint. “Arseholes.”

“Is that how you call your best friend?”

“Can’t a man drown in self-pity in peace, for fuck’s... oh, hello Pansy.”

“Draco.”

“And you brought in a new inhabitant of Dyke Town, I see?”  Draco sneered between painful stabs in his temples. “Welcome, citizen Granger.”

“Don’t patronize her, Draco,” Pansy said sharply as she offered Granger a seat next to Draco. “Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.” She emphasized her poetic expression by snogging Granger.

“Good for you,” Draco sneered, his voice dripping with envy as the girls deepened the kiss. “If you want to scissor together, fine by me, but do it somewhere else.”

“What happened, Draco? Where’s Potter?”

Draco swallowed audibly, evading Pansy’s glare.

“Fuck...”

“You dumped Harry?” Granger said sharply.

“I-I...” Draco stuttered, but unfortunately his sneering routine took over. “No offence, but I’m not going to discuss my love life with two carpet munchers.”

“None taken,” Pansy said. “Now, answer Hermione’s question, you daft bastard!”

“It didn’t work. We’re—too different.”

“Bullshit!” Pansy snapped impatiently. “It’s because Potter came too close. He’s not one of your alley-fucks, Draco. Everyone knew that he loved you.”

“Which you would’ve known, if you had thought with your brains rather than with your willy.”

“Meow, Granger,” Draco grinned. “ _Willy_? Your apprentice still has much to learn, Pansy.”

“I have an idea. Come over tomorrow. Dinner at eight. Now if you’ll excuse us; Hermione and I have some scissoring to do.”

Draco smiled as he suppressed a burp. “Granger?”

“What?”

“Will Darth Snarlious be a proper name for the new you?”

“Stuck-up prick!”

“Fast learner,” Draco said to himself, visibly impressed.


End file.
